I have no idea why I think pouring my soul out in a blog is acceptable, but I do. Lately life has handed me a HUGE bucket of lemons. I feel overwhelmed by just the menial things in life. Those of you who really know my situation with James and his job(s) know partially why I am so overwhelmed, but that is a private matter I will not discuss on my blog. I am sorry for not keeping up on comments, I will try and be better. I just wonder does anyone else ever feel this way? I feel like the Lord has given me more than I can handle, I have anxiety like no body's business, my kids are OUT OF CONTROL, I am lonely feeling like I have yet to really make a good friend here. I do have my wonderful and extremely supportive family. My husband (when he is home) is amazing, but his business is not doing as well as we had hoped. I just wonder how much more I can take on?
I keep thinking about the pioneers and am angry with myself at complaining. Elder Holland said "When suffering we may in fact be nearer to God, than we have ever been in our entire life." I know that to be true as I have began to pour over my scriptures and pray with new fervency. I just wish I could hurry up and learn whatever lesson I need to from this trial. My mom always tells me "it's always the darkest before dawn." and I hope so because I am not sure it can get much darker. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the doctor again, this time I will not try and 'handle' it all myself (as evidenced by this post I clearly cannot) I just hope and pray that she can help me find the elusive peace I seek.
I mainly posted this because sometimes I think these blogs make everyone's life look so perfect. Well guess what mine is not, big surprise! I know I am never alone and that I am extremely blessed, but I am having a bad month!
I found this song and was so moved by it I sat down and wept as I listened to the lyrics. I hope it touches you as it has me!
No I am not pregnant, infact I think we are done having kids!
And to top it all off Pressy-boy broke my Bose sound dock again!!! Really? I am headed to Costco to pick up an iHome because that is cheaper than fixing the sound dock!
